Christian Waugh, professor of psychology at Wake Forest University, said on May 6 that building resilience offers a more sustainable way to handle life’s challenges than simply pursuing happiness. Waugh studies emotions, stress, and coping, and is the author of the Substack newsletter “The Joyful Struggle.”
Waugh explained that society often encourages people to chase happiness through self-help resources and social media advice. However, he said this approach can be misleading. “One of the things that we’re told in our society is to be happy. It’s become an industry now that people want to make themselves happy but there’s sometimes a danger to that. When we pursue happiness, we think to ourselves, ‘Am I doing this well?’ The problem is that when we’re stressed or we’re feeling negative emotions we think that maybe we’re not happy, maybe we’re not doing something right. When negative emotions happen and bad things happen, these aren’t indicators that you’re not doing well. They’re indicators that you’re just living a normal life,” Waugh said.
He suggested reframing goals from chasing constant happiness toward accepting both positive and negative experiences as part of being resilient. “So the framing should not be about pursuing happiness at all costs and thinking of negative emotions as threats, but rather it should be about knowing that negative things are going to happen and staying happy despite and, sometimes, because of them. This is what resilience is and it’s a better goal to pursue,” he said.
Waugh compared human resilience to metal’s ability to bend under pressure without breaking: “Not that we can’t feel negative or we have to suppress our emotions through all the bad things, but rather that we can feel those things and then bounce back when they’re over.” He also noted research showing frequent small positive events contribute more effectively to long-term well-being than rare intense moments of joy.
To increase these moments of positivity in daily life, Waugh recommended appreciating nature or others’ actions with gratitude: “We tend to be focused on the future and the next thing…but taking time out to celebrate the accomplishments we have…extends that positive emotion.” He emphasized sharing achievements with others as another method for increasing well-being.
Reflecting on his research into stress responses after major events such as 9/11 attacks, Waugh concluded: “A lot of times having good stress is about improving the positive feelings…those who were resilient after the terrible attacks on 9/11 were those who felt positive emotions like compassion and love.” He added: “When I talk about this idea of resilience as being a better target, people feel kind of relieved because it gives them permission to feel bad sometimes.”
